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218, Not Even Once

by Basement Dweller

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Jay_Version25
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Jay_Version25 As always incredible music honest and gut wrenching stuff on this one. Punk as fuck and emo as hell, can't wait to see him live again! Favorite track: Too Loud To Think.
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1.
I know I'm pushing you away I know I have nothing nice to say I'm a fucking failure and a fucking slob I hate myself and my dead end job and everyone else should just fucking hate me too never try never failx2 never try then I'll never fail again I know I used to be a smart kid now all I do is hang around and not give a shit I'm a fucking loser and a fucking joke I'm always sad and i'm always broke and everyone else should just fucking hate me too
2.
couldn't cry myself to sleep so I thought of something else but I couldn't get my life together at 3am in a former crack house by this time tomorrow I'll still be let down how could anybody else love me if I don't even love myself even if I eat breakfast which I haven't done in months even if I hear good news like somebody shot donald trump by this time tomorrow I'll still be let down how could anybody else love me if I don't even love myself I fucking hate how everything I do is a disaster and I hate having to cancel gigs cause my boss is a fucking bastard room's always a mess and I'm always to tired to clean it I sometimes wanna kill myself but I don't think I really mean it and by this time tomorrow I'll still fucking hate myself x4
3.
drop by the atm can't believe I'm gonna do this shit again but this show might be the only time I leave my house this week I hate going out not even talking to my friends leave after the second band go home and go to bed I hate my anxieties and how much I hate myself but if i'm gonna go out I wanna have fun and if I wanna have fun I can't just be myself Everybody says to me Pat you should go get some help but everything I say's a joke and I don't care every day my parents say that they are so proud of me the problem is that I'm not it's just not fair the only thing that makes me happy the only thing that makes me hate myself the reason that I have to drink at shows is cause i'm nervous all the time Everybody says to me Pat why are you always sad well fuck you man get off my back I still don't care wanna waste my mind away some place where it's too loud to think is it too much to ask to just be happy all time?

about

recorded in montreal aug 2019

this album is dedicated to the 218 house in peterborough where I got real fuckin depressed for months and wrote these songs, some of the most bummeriffic songs I've ever written

credits

released January 7, 2020

music by pat

tech stuff by nick

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about

Basement Dweller Montreal, Québec

I used to be in a decent punk band but we broke up so I just decided to be emo BA Johnston

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